


Top of the World

by Ava_now



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Be gentle I don't know what I'm doing, F/M, Ferris Wheels, First Kiss, Fluff and Crack, I Don't Even Know, I don't write Barson, Rafael Barba is just so soft, so goofy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-18 23:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20199634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_now/pseuds/Ava_now
Summary: NYPD and the NYC DA's office host a day at Coney Island.  Barba is antisocial.  Liv is not.  And yes, this is the worst summary I have ever given.





	Top of the World

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Michelle (you know who you are)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Michelle+%28you+know+who+you+are%29).

> This is for Michelle who for some reason always believes I can write Barson. Thank you for believing in me. I'm not sure if this is proof positive or proof to the contrary, but here it is.

He sat alone, on top of the ferris wheel, holding onto the popcorn with one hand and shoving his other into his jacket pocket. He had forgotten how cold it could be up here.

He could see the thinning crowds below, teenagers in packs, families in smaller groups, and the occasional younger set of kids darting around to enjoy the rides in these last few hours before they closed. So many NYPD families and friends. A group of teens were in line below to get onto the ferris wheel, and it moved slowly, taking on pairs of passengers two at a time. He watched as two young men got on, and then a boy and a girl, who immediately sat extremely close to one another. The girl snuggled closely to the boy, glancing up to him and smiling. 

_ Where have I seen THAT before, _ he thought and snorted aloud. The memory rushed back to him--he, Alex, and Yelina finally making it to Coney Island on a warm August evening. The three of them running around, ride after ride. Yelina smelled like cotton candy and smiled so sweetly when he shared his coke with her. “Rafi, you’re the sweetest!” she had exclaimed, and he had spent ten of his carefully saved dollars trying to win a teddy bear as a surprise for her before he gave up.

They had walked by the ferris wheel near the end of their night, and Rafael had suggested they ride it. “Really?” she had asked hesitantly. “It’s kind of high.”

“Alex is brave,” Rafael had laughed, trying not to snort, knowing Alex was scared of heights. “He’ll ride with you, no problem! Right, Alex?”

Alex’s brow had creased, but he had nodded and climbed into the seat next to Yelina. When Rafael tried to follow, the carny had locked it. “Two at a time,” he barked, then let the seat go and sat Rafael in the next one.

The next seat had given Rafael a perfect view of when Yelina had lay her head on Alex’s shoulder. And when Alex had leaned over and kissed her. And when she had kissed him back. It had gone on like that for the rest of the ride, and Rafael felt his thirteen-year old heart break in a way he hadn’t before.

And now, at the top of the ferris wheel, the forty-something ADA popped another kernel of popcorn into his mouth and tried to figure out how in the hell he ended up here.

The NYPD and the NYC District Attorney’s office had decided it would be a grand idea to host a day for all employees at Coney Island. One of their attempts to build collegiality, and Barba was usually quite skilled at avoiding them all. But when Jack McCoy had cornered him in the men’s room on Friday (of all places) asking if he’d make it, he hadn’t felt he had much of a choice. For the life of him, he couldn’t think of anyone he’d wanted to bring along for this specific kind of torture, and he’d made nice with as many people as he could today before retreating to the highest and most isolated place he could think of--the ferris wheel. Trying to rid himself of the inevitable anxiety in his gut that appeared whenever that childhood memory came to mind, he tossed another piece of popcorn in his mouth and turned his attention below as his seat came close to the bottom of the wheel.

“Look Kyle,” he heard a familiar female voice say, slightly strained, “I’m not really a Mexican Spinner type of person.”

“Oh, come on, Liv! It just goes in circles...and the gravity pushes you toward the edge. That’s the fun part.”

Barba leaned over the seat rail to get a closer look. Sure enough, it was Olivia Benson...and was that Kyle Runner, from the medical examiner’s office? Why the hell were they together?

“Yeah, that’s the part I’d rather avoid,” she said sharply, and from her face, Barba could read that she was desperately looking for an out.

Suddenly the carny grabbed his seat and opened the latch. “You getting out?” he asked, and Rafael shook his head.

“Not yet,” he said, low, then leaned up. “Lieutenant Benson!” he called, “I need a partner to ride!”

He watched as Liv’s head swung around and relief washed over her face. Quickly turning back to the man she was with, she said, “Sorry--gotta help a friend!” and quickly made her way to his seat. Two seconds later she was seated next to him and the carny locked them in, then moved the next seat down, and they were partially up in the air.

“Hello,” he said, smiling, and she laughed.

“You know no idea how glad I am to see you, Barba,” she gushed, then pushed him in the arm. “What the hell are you doing hiding out on the ferris wheel by yourself?”

He snorted. “You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.” Glancing down at Runner, who was now making his way toward a young detective on the midway, he added, “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”

She laughed again and shook her head. “Uh, NO.” She reached over to his popcorn. “Mind? I haven’t eaten in hours. With Noah at camp, I forget to feed myself.”

“That’s right,” he replied, handing the popcorn over. “How’s that going?”

“Okay,” she replied. “He misses home. And he misses you--I’m supposed to tell you that he expects help with his new puzzle when he gets home.”

Rafael smiled to himself. Noah always made him feel needed and wanted. “I’m more than happy to help,” he told her, and they felt the seat move up again.

They were suddenly in a very clear position to see the two young adults in the seat ahead of them. The two were attached at the lips, kissing awkwardly as their car rocked slightly. Barba could feel himself blushing. “Sorry about the view,” he suddenly said. “I didn’t anticipate there’d be a show when I asked you to ride with me.”

She laughed softly. “Eh, they’re practically kids. Besides, everyone knows you’re supposed to kiss when you get to the top of the ferris wheel.”

Rafael’s mind flashed back suddenly to Alex and Yelina, kissing repeatedly so many years ago, and he heard himself sigh. “I suppose that is the rule.” He laughed hollowly. “You know, when we were kids, I thought Yelina liked me. One ride on the ferris wheel with her in a seat with Alex, and I understood how wrong I was.”

Liv turned to face him. “This ferris wheel?” she asked softly. “Rafael...I’m sorry.”

The corner of his mouth turned up into an awkward smile. “It was a million years ago, Liv. I’m sure you have memories like that too. Or maybe you don’t...you’re, uh. Well. You’d be the one a smart guy would choose.” He tried to laugh. “I think Kyle down there thinks he’s a smart guy.”

She smiled at him gently, and her eyes were soft. “What about you?” she asked. “Aren’t you a smart guy?”

The seat clicked up again, almost to the top of the wheel, and he felt himself swallow heavily.

“Some people think so,” he answered gruffly. “But there’s a mountain of evidence to the contrary…”

Suddenly they were at the top of the wheel. The night sky was clear and cool. The stars hung low and the moon was large. Liv looked around them. “Being up here is like a completely different perspective, isn’t it?” she said softly. “It’s like the top of the world. Things that seem so big really aren’t...the world seems pretty far away.” She looked at him, and rested a hand on his. “Sometimes big worries aren’t that big at all.” Her eyes were looking into his, and she said, “It’s a beautiful night.”

He glanced down at her hand, then turned his palm up, intertwining their fingers and squeezing. He raised his eyes to look at her again, and he swore she was glowing in the moonlight. “It is a beautiful night,” he agreed. He smiled softly. “Would it be all right…”

“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes.”

He leaned forward, smiling, and gently brushed his lips against hers. A moment later he raised his hand to her hair, stroking it back, as he brushed his lips across hers again and tentatively tasted her bottom lip with his tongue. Her mouth opened slightly, and as their kiss deepened, he realized she was softly stroking his hair, too.

“All right, folks!” the carny bellowed as he yanked the latch open on their seat. When had they gotten down to the bottom again? “Save it for a hotel room! Everybody out--and NO, you can’t go around again, mister!”

Liv laughed and let Rafael exit first, handing him the popcorn bag. He extended his free hand to help her out of the seat, and didn’t let go once they were out. They made their way out of the ride’s line and back to the boardwalk. “So I’m guessing the Mexican Spinner is out,” he teased, tossing a piece of popcorn into his mouth again, “but do you have anything else you’d like to do before you leave?”

“Oh, we can do the Mexican Spinner,” she told him.

He looked at her confusedly, then said, “I thought you told Kyle it pushed you against other people and you were trying to avoid that?”

“You misunderstood,” she clarified. “I was trying to avoid being pushed against Kyle.”

He felt a fresh blush bloom on his cheeks as he watched her head toward the Mexican Spinner line. She turned and looked at him. “Coming?” she asked, and winked.

“You bet,” he grinned, and followed her to the line, tossing the container of popcorn in the trash.


End file.
